This is not a test.
This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Blood Moon sanctioned by the Big City. Government. Candy of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Blood Moon. All other Candy are restricted. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Blood Moon and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including sneaking in to Chip's house, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 a.m., when The Blood Moon concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May the Bingo Bango be with you all.